ONLY 5 FOUNDING SPOTS REMAIN — CLAIM BEFORE YOUR COMPETITOR DOES

We Don't Write Copy.

We Turn Lead Into Gold.

Forbidden AI trained exclusively on proven 8-figure controls — the same mechanisms that printed hundreds of millions for the underworld legends of direct response.

Now unleashed for 5 founding clients who are ready to dominate 2026 and beyond.

Only 5 founding client spots remain this lifetime

Your Funnel Is Bleeding Millions
— And Nobody Had The Balls To Tell You

Generic AI spits out robotic slop that gets scrolled past in 0.8 seconds.

$100k+ human copywriters take 3 months and still lose to control.

Meanwhile, your ad costs explode, competitors scale in silence, and your offer, the one that actually changes lives, rots on the shelf collecting dust.

All because your message doesn't hijack souls, crush hope, and force wire transfers.

The VerbAlchemy Difference — Live Execution

Generic AI / $50k Freelancer Copy

“Improve Your Health Today!”

"Our supplement is made with natural ingredients and can help support your wellness journey. Many customers like it. Try it now and see the difference!"

Typical cold traffic conversion: 2–4% (if you're lucky)

VerbAlchemy Output — Trained Only on 8-Figure Winners

“I Reversed My ‘Permanent’ Chronic Fatigue in 34 Days… After Doctors Said It Was Impossible”

"If you're tired of waking up feeling 80, brain fog that murders your productivity, and watching life pass you by while doctors shrug and push another pill…

Then this is the most important letter you'll ever read.

Because what I'm about to reveal has already transformed 28,437+ men and women — many told 'just live with it' — and it's backed by brand-new clinical research the pharma cartels are desperate to bury."

Real controls this pattern beats: 14.7–21.3% cold traffic

This is what million-dollar copy actually feels like in your soul.
Yours can too — in days, not months.

The Forbidden Mechanisms We’re Trained On

The Godfather Offer

An offer so irresistible they’d be stupid to refuse — even if they hate you.

Buried Proof Mechanism

Hidden clinical studies, suppressed research, and "banned" protocols the industry prays stay buried.

Emotional Hijacking

We don’t tell stories. We perform open-heart surgery on their deepest pain and desires.

The Vault — Classified Results

$2.31M

Finance Mentorship Launch

34 days. Cold traffic only.

$180k/day

Supplement Scale

Current daily run rate

21.3%

Cold Traffic Conversion

Fitness coaching funnel

What Happens When VerbAlchemy Touches Your Funnel

"I was capped at $47k/month for 2 years. VerbAlchemy wrote one VSL. We hit $340k in 14 days. I'm shaking writing this."

— Alex M., Fitness Coach

"They turned my reel into an email that closed $127k in applications in 4 days. I cried. Then I wired another $9,997 for the retainer."

— LaQuita Scott, Trading Mentor

"I've spent $400k+ on copywriters. VerbAlchemy is the first that actually beat control. By 4.7x. I'm never using anyone else."

— Anonymous (under NDA)

Why 8-Figure Brands Are Switching to VerbAlchemy

01

Trained Only on Proven Winners

Thousands of 8-figure sales letters, VSLs, and ads. Never generic slop. Ever.

02

Lightning-Fast & Unlimited

Full funnel in 7 days. Unlimited revisions. We don't stop until it prints.

03

Performance Guarantee

Beats your control or we rewrite free. Forever. Zero risk.

Founding Client Launch Special — Final 5 Spots

Lock in 40% lower rates forever + obscene bonuses when you become one of our 5 founding clients:

These spots close forever once filled.
No exceptions. No mercy.

Investment That Pays For Itself 20-100x

Founding client rates already applied secure your spot before your competitor does!

$997

Ad Copy Quick Win

Perfect for testing the alchemy with zero risk

  • ✔ Full ad audit + strategy
  • ✔ 15 nuclear ad variations
  • ✔ All platforms ready
  • ✔ Unlimited revisions

$1,997

Conversion Booster Pack

For brands ready to scale ads + emails fast

  • ✔ 25 30 fresh ads
  • ✔ 5 email sequence
  • ✔ Full audit + strategy
  • ✔ Performance guarantee

$4,997

VIP Intensive Sprint

For clients who need everything yesterday

  • ✔ Unlimited copy in 7 days
  • ✔ Daily check ins
  • ✔ 24 hour priority
  • ✔ Full funnel build

Monthly Retainers (After Your First Package)

$2,997/mo

(First month only $2,497)

Momentum

  • ✔ Up to 30 ads/mo
  • ✔ Up to 10 emails
  • ✔ 1 monthly call

$7,997 $9,997/mo

Domination

  • ✔ Unlimited everything
  • ✔ Weekly calls
  • ✔ Full funnel builds
  • ✔ Dedicated Slack channel

Ready to Turn Your Leads Into Gold?

Book your free 30-minute funnel autopsy right now.

We'll rip your current funnel apart live, show you exactly where you're bleeding millions, and hand you the fixes on a silver platter — even if you never pay us a cent.

YES — BOOK MY FREE AUTOPSY NOW

Only 5 founding spots left

// Scarcity pressure let spots = 5; const spotsElements = [document.getElementById('hero-spots'), document.getElementById('spots-left'), document.getElementById('final-spots')]; setInterval(() => { if (spots > 1 && Math.random() > 0.87) { spots--; spotsElements.forEach(el => el.textContent = spots); document.getElementById('scarcity-bar').style.display = 'block'; } }, 75000); // Show scarcity bar on scroll window.addEventListener('scroll', () => { if (window.scrollY > 1200 && spots <= 5) { document.getElementById('scarcity-bar').style.display = 'block'; } }); // Smooth scroll document.querySelectorAll('a[href^="#"]').forEach(anchor => { anchor.addEventListener('click', function (e) { e.preventDefault(); document.querySelector(this.getAttribute('href')).scrollIntoView({ behavior: 'smooth' }); }); }); const stripe = Stripe('pk_live_YOUR_KEY_HERE'); function checkout(priceId) { stripe.redirectToCheckout({ lineItems: [{ price: priceId, quantity: 1 }], mode: 'payment', successUrl: window.location.origin + '/success.html', cancelUrl: window.location.origin + '/cancel.html', }); }